TOO COLD TO GOLF

Here are the top ten signs it’s too cold for golf:

#10… You have to wear the visor with the plaid, woolen ear flaps.

#09… Even with Mr. Rogers and Martha Stewart in your group, you still don’t feel warm and fuzzy.

#08… Your hands feel warmer when they touch a witch’s breast.

#07… When you fell through the ice, you realized taking a divot on a frozen pond wasn’t such a hot idea.

#06… Your cart sinks when it hits an iceberg.

#05… It drops below the temperature of an IRS agent’s heart.

#04… It’s hard to read a putt with Tammy Faye Baker icicles on your eyelashes.

#03… The greens are groomed by a Zamboni. 

#02… A Woolly Mammoth just walked across the hole.

And the NUMBER ONE reason it’s too cold for golf: 

#01… Your balls have turned blue.